9 left in AZ
-3 in LA
I vary between two emotions but they seem very similar. First, I'm excited. Nervous excited. Second, I'm anxious and a little sad. Both emotional states are linked by the overwhelming happiness of a new place and new people, but have an undercurrent of dread.
I'm so very glad to have wonderful people in my life to talk to about this. This emotional tide, circulating the fear and excitement, the panic and peace, is what I love about life.. This is living.
I think I've been searching for something to be stable, a piece to hold me up. But I think I'll get more out of this if I don't have a net. I can't control things; accepting this and riding the fear will be a thrill and a new adventure. So. No more crazy vows to do yoga every day or try to purchase the perfect wardrobe. Maybe I'll do my nails every day. Probably not. Regardless, I will choose to have fun and to be happy. Red nails, chipped nails, 5 lbs or curly hair.
I'm so very terrified but so very very alive.
